St. Elmo's Steakhouse

For my first Mean Girl's Review, I am going with St. Elmo's Steakhouse, which is an Indianapolis institution. It has been around since 1902, and when it came time to build what is now Circle Center Mall, instead of closing and moving the restaurant, they actually built the mall AROUND it, and it stayed open while everything above the first floor was built into the new mall structure.

This is the second time I have eaten at St. Elmo's, but the first time was for a work dinner for 100 people. So, I didn't feel that eating the equivalent of a banquet style meal there was a great example of what the restaurant can do. I will also write this with the caveat that I am not that much of a red meat eater. So, the entree that this restaurant is known best for, is not something I'm going to order if there is a choice.

Tonight, we are eating there to celebrate the birthday of three of my friends, and since this restaurant is not cheap, I am happy that we are there at the end of the winter restaurant week in downtown that offers a $30, three course Prix Fixe menu, which basically gives you limited options so that you can sample the menu in hope that you'll come back and pay full price for something. It is one of those great ideas, that I really wish I took advantage of more, but at least they do it twice a year.

The first thing you'll notice about St. Elmo's is the bar. It is the length of the restaurant, and it is one of those gigantic, dark wood bars that you know mobsters probably hit behind in a great shoot out. The next thing you will notice is that they have packed a table into every nook and cranny to make sure they get as many people in as possible. Obviously, this is not a place to go if you want an intimate dinner for two. Indeed, our table of 7 was sat, I kid you not, less than a foot from another couple. They easily could have been a part of our conversation. All in all, it is a restaurant with a lot of old school charm, but I really think they could clear out a good number of tables and still not destroy their bottom line.

Our waiter was one of those boisterous congenial types that people tend to shower with money. He's also, obviously been using his tip money to eat way too much of the rich food on his breaks. He was a big boy, and as I said above, there was not a lot of room for big boy to actually do his job. He was obviously busy, and while I was sympathetic that "St. Elmo's had done 72% of the Devour Downtown business" and he had worked 14 days without a day off, it really doesn't make it okay that I had drank my Rum & Diet and eaten all the ice before I was offered another one.

The food was pretty good. St. Elmo's is known for it's shrimp cocktail, which is nose clearingly heavy on the horseradish. For this menu, you only got three shrimp, which is fine since it is a limited menu. If you did not get the cocktail, then you had the option of your standard house salad. The main course gave you the option of steak, salmon, or chicken. I love fish. So, I opted to get the salmon, but 30 minutes into waiting for our meal, the big boy waiter shimmied back to our table to tell me that they were out of salmon. Oy! So, I opted for the chicken, which turned out to be Old Country Buffet style at best, and the veggies probably came from a giant vat complete with Lunch Lady Doris. The dessert options were between creme brulee or chocolate cake. The chocolate cake looked like it had just come off the Sysco truck, and the creme brulee, which turned out to be quite good, was really only about a third of what you would get with in a normal portion.

To top off the night, I needed to go to the restroom, and while I was doing my business at the urinal, I almost got peed on by a drunk, who was too busy unzipping himself to realize I was standing there. Thankfully, he caught himself, and was still cackling out loud in the stall, when I left. Yeah, that was funny, drunk ass....

All in all, I get that St. Elmo's is an institution, but I think they are coasting a bit on their history. I realize we were all eating from the $30 menu, but it seems to me they should being trying at least put a little bit of effort into it. I could have spent less than $10 at White Castle and gotten more food and better service. This is not to say that I wouldn't take someone from out of town there, because it is still something uniquely Indy, but I can't say I will be going out of my way to go there again.


St. Elmo Steak House
127 S. Illinois St.
Indianapolis, IN. 46225
Phone: 317.635.0636
Fax: 317.687.9162
http://www.stelmos.com/