Honesty among friends.

In the previous post by Romeo he pleads for honesty from friends. Now with most of my friends I would say sure constructive critique would be great. However looking at this group and giving the green light on honest commentary, I could feel Alain turning to me with a wicked grin.

Let us examine a few instances that we could distinguish between constructive criticism and brutal honesty.

Example 1. Do I look fat in this?

Choice A. Lie, say something comforting like "No, of course not, you would have to be fat for that to occur and you are not fat. You have never been close to fat you are as thin as a bulimic." Ok that was a bit overboard maybe you should just stop at "No" and leave it at that.

Choice B. Steer away from the fact that they look fat and convince them they should change for other reasons. "You don't look fat but you look like a whore." This could backfire because maybe they want to look like a whore.

Choice C. Honesty "Yes you look like a heifer take that off. What were you thinking trying to fit into something 3 sizes too small. This isn't high school anymore. Oh and you look like a whore." Ok this is where things can go awry. Though all of those things may be true it may lead to hurt feelings and less Christmas party invites.

Choice D. Honesty, but be nice. "Hmm put on the other outfit and let me see if I like that one better, I am not convinced about this one." This is a great way to help a friend out without hurt feelings. They may not be fat but we all know some things make us look worse or better than we really do and that is what friends are here for to help us make the right decisions.

Choice D here is the best option it's helpful, it's kind and it's better than just walking away which is a whole other message we would be sending. Of course don't forget to follow all that up with "That outfit doesn't make you look fat, but those shoes make you look like a whore." What? I'm not Mother Theresa here.